The Modern Parent: What are we worried about, and how can we help?
Being a parent has never been more difficult than in the last couple of decades. With the internet taking the world by storm, it seems as if trends now change in the blink of an eye. What’s “cool” one day can be mocked and ridiculed the next. Our children are having to learn and adapt quickly to save themselves from the ire of their classmates. And with the internet being so accessible, the risk of cyberbullying is at an all-time high.
As a parent, it is your instinct to want to shield your child from any harm. Studies have shown that the most important question on parents’ minds is: “How can I ensure my child’s mental wellbeing?” Learning how to recognize signs of mental distress, working proactively with your child and pediatrician, and giving your child the tools they need to succeed will not only set your child up for success, but will in turn alleviate the stress we are all putting on ourselves.
Banter or bullying?
It is heartbreaking to watch your child deal with a fight with their friend, a spat between teammates, or a disagreement between classmates, but when does the occasional bickering turn to something more sinister? And how will you know the difference?
Bullying is defined as: “a form of aggression where there is a power imbalance; it is behaviour that makes the person being bullied feel afraid, alone or uncomfortable.” According to Statistics Canada, at least 7 out of 10 students have experienced bullying, with a staggering 1 in 4 of them experiencing the bullying online through cyberbullying. The most common types of bullying include being made fun of, called names or insulted (59%), followed by rumours being spread by others (34%), and being excluded from activities (32%). Sometimes, kids are not receptive to talking about their problems openly, but there are signs that a fight between friends runs deeper that you can keep an eye out for.
Mental health crises: Signs and symptoms
There are signs that you can watch out for even if your child doesn’t want to talk about what they are experiencing:
Depression & anxiety
Sullenness, withdrawal from activities, extended periods of isolation
Troubles falling asleep and/or staying asleep
Heightened levels of stress
Physical pain (headaches, backaches, stomach aches)
Out with the old, in with the new
I’m certain that we have all heard the phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” being told to us as a child. This is not only completely false, but incredibly dismissive and unhelpful to a child experiencing a nasty rumor being spread about them or listening to insults being thrown at them. Thankfully, a significant number of parents have moved away from this “older” style of parenting, where previous generations may have been told to “man up” or “ignore it and it’ll go away.” Approximately 40% of parents polled stated that their child’s mental wellbeing was their utmost concern. While it is heartbreaking to hear that so many children are experiencing negative mental wellness, it should also be praised that so many parents are taking their children’s needs seriously when it comes to mental health.
With persistent advocacy, mental health is now at the forefront of our parenting concerns. No longer is it something to be hidden or ashamed of. More than half of all teenagers polled state that they have a counsellor or mental health professional supporting them, and just under half state that they are taking prescribed medication to help with their mental wellbeing. There are more resources and avenues for children to take action and for parents to support them, be it at school, at the doctor’s, or in the home, than ever before.
Help me help you help them
While it can feel daunting to slog through a sea of information on the internet, it is important to remember that you know your child best. You will know what resources do and don’t work for them, but here are a few options to consider:
Advocacy in the school
If your child is feeling overwhelmed with schoolwork, don’t be afraid to speak up on their behalf. Talk to their teachers to determine what can be done. Is there an opportunity for additional time on tests or assignments? Would your child benefit from a quiet room to take a test in? Are there different or additional resources that your child can use during the school day to help them understand the material? You won’t know until you ask, and setting a meeting with their teacher is the first step!
Talk to your pediatrician
Your pediatrician is your child’s first line of defence against all illnesses, be they mental or physical. Encourage your child to talk to their doctor about all their concerns, not just their physical ones. Not only does this allow them to practice advocacy on their own, but it also encourages a strong and trusting relationship between doctor and patient. Your pediatrician can help treat or diagnose an issue, or point you in the right direction of a specialist that can.
Your child’s safe space; your home
Give your child space to process their emotions and understand their feelings, while encouraging them to talk with you about their problems as well. Be mindful of your child’s presence on social media, as studies have shown that spending large amounts of time on social media apps can have negative effects on their mental health. Providing a safe and loving environment free of judgement and stress can exponentially help your kiddo feel safer and happier.
How does Tutor Teach support mental health?
We understand that in the face of so many struggles, the academics of school can sometimes take a backseat. Or maybe your child is being bullied about their grades. Or maybe your child no longer has any drive to attend school and complete assignments. These are situations that we have seen time and again, and will continue to see as our children continue to struggle. Let Tutor Teach be a tool in your arsenal to support your child. We are well versed in supporting students with varying levels of learning adversities, motivation, and confidence. We advocate that the need for a tutor is not something to be shamed or mocked - it’s the same as needing a dentist or a doctor. With our team of professional educators, we strive to not only lift your child’s grades, but their spirit at the same time. See the results for yourself and start embracing your child’s needs today!
References:
Pink Shirt Day (Anti-Bullying Day)
Data and Statistics on Children's Mental Health
8 steps to advocating for your child at school
How to Talk About Mental Health With Your Child and Their Pediatrician
